Bring a Spark

WRITE. Every day in March write a slice of life story on your own blog. SHARE. Link your post in the comments on each daily call for slice of life stories here at TWT. GIVE. Comment on at least three other slice of life stories/blogs.

I am exhausted.  I just about fell asleep reading to the boys, which never happens, tonight.  I don't feel like I should be so tired, so I am frustrated.  I lolled through 30 minutes of yoga for today, and just peeled myself off my mat to come sit in front of the too brilliant screen of my computer.  The thoughts I had earlier in the day, jotted in my notebook nearby, feel like jibberish right now.  I am not motivated, maybe tomorrow they will make sense. . .  So, to further delay my writing, I upload a photo of said notebook, but then since it takes longer than I expected, my brain begins to defog and I start to think about what I was planning to write tonight, and as always I look for connections, new ways to make sense of things.

Tonight's tired is not your ordinary run of the mill tired.  It is that kind of exhausted feeling I get when someone has sucked the life out of me.  I was wondering about the sociology of the middle child earlier tonight and pondering whether something about his place in our family is influencing his behavior lately, because he has been draining all of us here at home with his unprecedented drama in the last few weeks.  I notice that same phrase, "suck life out", is in my notebook,  but it is in regards to teaching. In my transition from stay at home mom back into the school environment I have noticed some of the teachers I have met bring an amazing life to teaching, while others seem to suck the life out of the school.  Maybe the profession sucked it out of them first and they just morph into a human black hole, whatever the case, it is tiresome.

Over the past couple years I have met some amazing teachers in different districts around us.  Some of them bring sparks to their teaching.  My son's third grade teacher excitedly shared an idea she came up with one day for writing, and raved about her fellow team teachers who she has connected with this year, unlike any other year.  "It's so motivating!"  I know that working with the right people makes a huge difference, because I have shared the comaraderie of a school community all working for a common cause.  I have also worked where it feels like keeping a positive mindset is the hardest part of the job, because whereever I turn there's someone complaining, or griping, or going about the job of teaching as if it is a chore and not a gift.   They ask, "Is is Friday yet?" on Tuesday, and not so secretly wish for certain children to be out that day, everyday.  That is the kind of environment that burns lots of fuel for little results, and sucks the life out of people who want to love the job.

I know I want to work in a place where teachers are sparklers who bring light and fun to life.  Where teachers raise eyebrows, tap fingers together and joke, "This problem is Evil!  There is a trick!"  I want to work with people whose infatuation with books fills their classroom and their teaching, overflowing into everything.  I want to work where kids flock around the teacher on the way out to dismissal as she while she plays word games with them right up to the last minute.  I seek laughter and love of children, respectful and replenishing comraderie, coffee or a coke for a coworker.  I hope to be recharged, not drained by school and staff. . .and family ;)  I hope to bring a spark of my own.



Beth said...

I love the sparkler language. It is hard to figure out what sucks the life out of some teachers! Hang in there!

wakeupandwrite said...

I'm glad your photo took awhile to load so you could get to this writing.

Crystal Brooks said...

I like how you refer to a positive person as a spike. I always think and try to forgive the negative teachers. I wonder what has happened in their career to make them that way and how can I keep it from happening to me. I hope you continue to find people who "Sparkle" to help you through the hard days.

Maureen said...

I, too, love the sparkler imagery. My "modus operandi" (spelling?) is to spend most of my time around sparklers and minimize my time with the "Negative Nellies" - this works for me! Plus, for the past three years I've been working at a new school, and am blessed to be surrounded by motivated "sparklers." Best of luck! Keep strong!

LInda Baie said...

Another blogger (Terje-Just For A Month) wrote sometime in the last year about only watering the green-like Maureen's words above, sticking tot he 'sparkers'-Terje shared that when something is green and growing, it's worth the water, but if not, just leave it & move on. Hope that helps, & this is late, so hope Saturday was rejuvenating!